Opinion: Silence is golden for gay kids

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In researching a book last year about the culture wars, I was often told that gay rights was the new abortion. Decoded, that catch phrase means that the sound and fury over abortion in U.S. politics has been succeeded, if not replaced, by controversies over homosexuality. Each issue even has its signature court decisions: With abortion, it’s the “super-duper precedent” of Roe v. Wade (as Arlen Specter calls it). For gay rights, it’s Lawrence v. Texas, the 2003 U.S. Supreme Court striking down a mean-spirited Texas law against same-sex ‘sodomy.’ Then there is the string of state Supreme Court decisions legalizing same-sex marriage, including the ruling in California that may yet be undone by Proposition 8.

I knew when I started work on my book that gay rights was probably the defining culture-war issue of this decade. What surprised me was that the most interesting battlefield wasn’t, as I first suspected, the courts but the classroom. Gay rights may be the new abortion when it comes to Washington, but across the country it’s the new school prayer. How homosexuality is discussed has eclipsed school prayer on the agenda of cultural conservatives and liberals alike. But, as with school prayer, religious conservatives are on the defensive and some seem to be using the other side’s playbook. They emphasize free speech and tolerance for opposing views -- including the view that sexual orientation can be changed.

Take this week’s nationwide Day of Silence, an observance sponsored by GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, in which students at thousands of schools and college remained silent for all or part of the school day to dramatize the silencing effect of bullying on gay and lesbian kids. The symbolism may be a bit convoluted, but as I discovered researching my book the problem is real. So is the change in attitudes toward homosexuality that has made the Day of Silence, while still controversial in places, such a routine school event, along with Homecoming, the prom and the big game. CNN marked the Day of Silence this morning with an interview of an articulate Georgia high school student named Cory Phelps, himself a former victim of bullying, who put an all-American face on an event that would have been unthinkable a generation ago. I chatted briefly later in the day with Cory, who told me that in his four years in high school acceptance of the Day of Silence had increased. He’s interested in studying law or psychology in college -- two disciplines that have been transformed by the gay rights movement.

The Day of Silence is still unthinkable -- or at least objectionable -- to many parents and some students, as are the Gay/Straight Alliances that are proliferating in public and private high schools. But here’s the interesting thing: Instead of a boycotting the Day of Silence or competing with it by staging a “Day of Truth,’ some conservative students are being urged to embrace the mantra of mutual respect. Warren Throckmorton, a psychology professor at Grove City College in Western Pennsylvania, has proposed that evangelical Christian kids join with their ‘GLBT peers’ in taking a “Golden Rule Pledge.’ Last year, Throckmorton notes on his blog, “students in over 30 high schools and colleges participated by agreeing with GLBT peers to respect each other as Image bearers of God. Students distributed pledges to honor the teaching of Christ to love as He loved and to treat others as we want to be treated.”

I know what you’re saying (if you’re views about this subject are the same as mine): Dialogue and mutual respect fall short of acceptance. Still, it’s impossible to overstate the change in views about homosexuality, especially among the young. The Day of Silence does speak volumes.