Opinion: Sarah Palin: Mother, moose-hunter...muse?
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We have yet to see whether Sarah Palin will wow audiences in tonight’s debate, but she’s certainly wowed Times readers so far. Over the past month, Letters to the Editor has been inundated with mail about Sarah Palin. (To get an idea of just how inundated, check out this tally, this tally and this tally of recent mail.)
Most of this correspondence has been of the conventional sort: lamentations, lambastings, and a few ‘you go, girl!’s here and there.
But some of our dreamier-eyed writers have been inspired to loftier pursuits. Perhaps it’s the small town values. Perhaps it’s the X-chromosome. Perhaps it’s that unmistakable pile of hair.
Whatever that spark may be, here is its result: Palin Poetry.
We’ll post more if tonight’s debate fans the creative flames.
OH, MOOSE, YOUR SAD EYES TELL IT ALLI see a proud moose on a hill --he looks so lone and sad-eyed still.His antlers nicely frame the sky;his steamy breath makes rain clouds cry.And as he trumpets to call his mate,a hunter stalks him in the night,her name is Palin and with her gun,she kills the moose. Its life is done.She hangs his head upon her wall.Oh, moose, your sad eyes tell it all. Robert Mauro, Levittown, N.Y.
Suggested bumper sticker:
Sarah Palin for Vice-President
Pro-Life, Pro-Gun - A Foxymoron
Jerry Arbogast, Glendale
(With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan) I am the very model of a modern VP candidate/I know the holy plan to nominate me head of state/I know the doctrines scriptural/I can quote the laws--if biblical/From stem cells, gays to pro-life, guns, in order evangelical. I am very well acquainted with policies political/I understand affairs, both the domestic and the spiritual/When it comes to banning books, I’m teeming with a lot of news/With many cheerful facts that I cannot share with you. I am very well acquainted with creationist biology/We should supplement its teaching with biological mythology/In short, I know the holy plan--to nominate me head of state/I am the very model of a modern VP candidate. I know where babies come from and how to lobby on the Hill/Though when it comes to teenage sex, I’m still against the godless pill/I agree with Bush’s Doctrine, though not sure just what it’s for/And talked with Russia from my house with binoculars and semaphore. I can build a bridge of funds from Washington to East Fork/ And know how to say ‘no thanks’ but please set aside our rack of pork/I can lift myself by bootstraps—be they John’s or Hillary’s/Then stand on shattered glass with shoes that are way too big for me. In short, I know the holy plan/to nominate me head of state/I am the very model of a modern VP candidate. Josh Bricker, Longmont, Co.
And, bonus bailout haiku:
Sick to my stomach;
digesting groaning debt means,
a big bellyache!
Bulking up on debt-
Muscular intervention-
What’s wrong with steroids?
Watch out when they say
the fundamentals are strong,
our pockets are picked!
Let’s clear out the plaque
that has clogged our arteries,
bypass both parties!
Confidence is lost,
when the financial sector,
cannot find its way!
What’s this recipe?
Great wealth in small slices mean
no rising middle!
Collapsing dollar,
huge debt, growing inflation-
What happened to trust?
Something is amiss,
arsonists are showing up,
in fireman’s’ hats!
Grab buckets and pails!
After all this bailing out,
a sinking feeling.
This bottled bailout
smells like some sort of snake oil.
It’s no elixir!
If we play the odds,
how many can loose their shirts,
before the house folds?
No chickens in pots,
just a witches brew of greed.
Get tar and feathers!
Where are the doctors,
who prescribe tough medicine?
We’re sick of these cures!
Clothed for appearance,
the Emperors buy bad loans.
Naked ignorance!
This trick of buying
mortgage backed securities,
is a house of cards!
The Gods of Finance,
with golden parachutes, are
slaughtering our calves!
Both the candidates,
are riding tarnished horses.
Time to save ourselves!
Wonderland awaits!
Down this crisis hole they say,
things are looking up!
So says ‘Grasshopper’...
‘after overstepping rules,
other shoe must drop’!
It’s just gravity.
When what goes up, does come down,
welcome mat is gone!
Denise Petitfils, Pasadena