Opinion: God... guns... babies... Bingo!

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Well, for a while there I thought the only thing that would make tonight’s debate between Joe ‘Gaffer’ Biden and Sarah ‘Caribou Barbie’ Palin bearable would be making it a drinking game (you have to chug every time Biden says ‘Scranton’ or Palin says ‘Maverick’). Thankfully for my liver, though, there’s another option: Palin Bingo.

I can’t think of very many things I’d rather hear than a spontaneous chat between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin on a broad range of issues, but that isn’t what we’re going to be presented with tonight. The two campaigns have structured the rules of the debate to ensure there’s only 90 seconds for each response and very little challenging of answers by the moderator or either side. That will allow each candidate just enough time to spit out the scripted answers they’ve been memorizing over the past weeks, whether it’s responsive to the question or not. Despite all the anticipation, and the high ratings tonight’s debate is expected to draw, it should be about as interesting as watching sliced apples turn brown.

I’ve got to hand it to whoever is behind Palin Bingo, though, they’ve collected an impressive assortment of the Alaskan governor’s buzzwords for each bingo card. Just one I’d like to add: ‘I’ll bring ‘em to ya.’

*Image from the Palin Bingo website.