The director and stars of "Slumdog Millionaire," thinking happy thoughts about Dubai. (EPA/Paul Buck)

Some of you get a kick out of slowing down and gawking at traffic crashes.

I did almost the same thing. I watched the Golden Globes pre-show.

There's nothing like the moronic prattle of the red carpet to make you feel smart and superior (to the gabbling hosts) and lucky (not to be one of the hapless celebs on the receiving end of the dopey badinage).

One host has a voice as annoyingly pitched as a police whistle; another insisted on pressing the arriving guests about how much drinking would be going on.

My favorite traffic-wreck remark of the pre-awards evening: one host referring to "Slumdog Millionaire" as a love letter to the "city of Dubai" -- which is news to the emirate of Dubai, the Indian city of Mumbai, and to everyone who made or even saw "Slumdog Millionaire."

Come to think of it, that's all right, really -- Mumbai, Dubai, whatever. I mean, I can't tell those red-carpets hosts apart, so that makes us even.