The heck with the convention. A delegate could skip the proceedings just to go to the movie screenings here in St. Paul.

On Sunday, even before the convention began, California delegates could take in ''An American Carol,'' described as ''the politically incorrect comedy of the year,'' starring, among others, Kelsey Grammer, Dennis Hopper, Bill O'Reilly and [the last-billed] Jon Voight, who looked a little distracted as he strolled through the press workspaces today amid a gaggle of his ''people.''

Opening day, Monday, the film ''The Black List,'' about ''influential African-Americans,'' was on for a 1:30 showtime -- is Barack Obama on the cast list? (No.)

Today's matinee is ''I.O.U.S.A.,'' an unsettling and much-praised documentary about the enormous deficits that both the United States and its citizens carry.

On Wednesday -- two days after the convention scrapped most of its program because of Hurricane Gustav -- delegates are being offered ''Trouble the Water,'' about American poverty as seen through the eyes of a couple stuck in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. If that didn't appeal, there's a double feature, both produced by that Hollywood behemoth, Citizens United Productions:  ''Blocking the Path to 9/11,'' and ''HYPE: The Obama Effect.''

So what I want to know is, with all these movies on offer, how come there were no Milk Duds or Junior Mints in the delegate gift bags???