Opinion: The frakking genius of ‘Battlestar’

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The problem with writing for a family newspaper — or being a screenwriter for a TV show on basic cable, for that matter — is that there are times when the most apt possible word for the situation you’re trying to describe or the dialogue you’re trying to convey is forbidden by company policy, or FCC regulations, or common decency. That is why I am so frakking in love with ‘Battlestar Gallactica.’

The Sci Fi Channel hit didn’t coin the word ‘frak.’ It was introduced in the original 1978 series on ABC, though its meaning on that show was quite a bit more benign; the context in which it was used made it clear that it was a substitute for a harmless euphemism like ‘darn.’ In the new version of ‘Battlestar,’ which is free of blow-dried haircuts, adorable robot dogs or former ‘Bonanza’ stars, the writers make it quite clear that ‘frak’ means exactly the same as a common four-letter English word that starts with ‘F’ and ends with ‘K.’ Hence you get words like ‘motherfrakker’ and ‘clusterfrak,’ and phrases like, ‘We are well and truly frakked.’

This all might seem a little childish, but it’s actually incredibly liberating. Screenwriters can write the kind of dialogue for basic cable that’s normally only allowed on a pay-cable channel. (I challenge even the stoutest frat boy to take a drink every time somebody drops an F-bomb on the HBO show ‘Deadwood.’) You simply cannot accurately convey the chatter of a bunch of sweaty, tattooed, futuristic fighter pilots, who make up much of the cast of ‘Battlestar,’ without throwing in some colorful language. With ‘frak,’ you can do that without offending a soul: Even the most righteous member of the Parents Television Council would have a tough time objecting to a curse word that only has meaning in an alternate universe.

Which is why I hope this whole ‘frak’ thing catches on. When you’re writing about government policy, sometimes the situation is so frakked up, involving people who know frak-all about basic economics or the unintended consequences of bad public policy, that you just frakking want to tell them to frak off.
Frak, that feels good.